Today was going to be a long day – call at 7:45, first service at 9, second at 10:30, then a 5th Sunday Worship and Prayer service at 6, with a rehearsal and sound check at 3:30. There was something to it that I was looking forward to – pouring myself into one last long day of service. I was extremely satisfied with the mix Thursday night at rehearsal. Extended yet clear low end; a volume level that felt engaging and uplifting, but not oppressive; clarity, yet a wall-of-sound.

Instead, with the weather this weekend – a good 6 inches of snow Friday & Saturday, icing over Saturday night – the day was trimmed to just a 10:30 rendition of the Worship and Prayer service. It was a truly glorious time. Andrea was on the worship team, and without drums and electric guitar, there was a wonderful simplicity to the mix. I felt free enough to worship, to sing at the top of my lungs, to engage in prayer.

As we are moving toward our big move to South Asia in the next couple of months, I have to let go of some things. The house we’ve lived in for almost three and a half years – my first house, which I bought three years before we got married. The company I’ve been a part of – a partner in – for 9 years. I’ve been a part of Grace for 17 years – been serving the church in sound for all of that time, from the first day I visited.

I remember the first time I walked up the hill to the Barn with my roommate to visit Grace. It was the third week, and we got there in time to help set up, which involved moving numerous sofas upstairs to make room for the kids, throwing a piece of plywood and a tablecloth over the pool table for the “welcome center”, and setting up the sound system – at that time a borrowed Toa 6-channel powered “cube” mixer. Paul played guitar and sang, and Scott had a lapel mic with a wired beltpack. We recorded sermons on a borrowed jambox. There were about 30 people in that room, and it was wonderful.

I’m handing things off to a great guy. Daniel has a huge servant’s heart, and is an extremely talented engineer. I think he’ll have the schedule flexibility to take this ministry to another level – where I’ve longed to go, but couldn’t in this season. I’m getting to pursue something I really feel called to – getting to pour the skills and talents I have in audio and in web technology, even in training and discipleship, into a missions lifestyle, and getting to do so alongside my amazing helpmate.

But there’s still a feeling of grief in this process. What will the next couple of months be like? One of my gifts is service – will that part of me starve while we wait for the day to arrive to leave? How long should I continue to lead our community group? What will it feel like to be home, or at least not going to rehearsal on Thursdays, getting up early on Sundays, planning for the big Good Friday and Easter services? We’ll probably be leaving just before Easter – will it feel like Easter?